It may seem like a stretch between memory and forgiveness, but there actually is a link. The link is depression.
When you have depression, it’s more than feeling sad. The feeling is intense, and you have lost interests in things you used to enjoy. It is not a sign of weakness, but a medical illness, and one that is treatable.
Depression can change or distort the way you view life – those you love and how you view yourself. It can make you feel guilt for something you may have said or did to someone else, or feel hurt by something someone said or did to you. A depressed person looks at the world around them from a negative light, and cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel for problems in their life.
Nearly everyone has short spurts of sadness, but true clinical depression is a mood disorder in which feelings of sadness, loss, anger, or frustration interfere with everyday life for weeks or longer. It affects your memory, your ability to learn and retain information, and often leaves a person unable to do other than normal functions like go to the bathroom and eat.
There probably isn’t a person alive who hasn’t been hurt by the words or actions of others. The wounds from these can be long lasting and cause you to build up anger, bitterness, and maybe even plot revenge. If you are not able to get past these feelings, and learn to forgive and move on, the damage these feelings can do to you will be longer than your grudge.
Learning how to forgive doesn’t mean you have to forget the hurt. It doesn’t mean the person responsible for hurting you was right, and it won’t lesson the pain or justify your anger or hurt. When you are able to release the anger and stressful feelings you will find a peace within you that will open up your life. You can take lessons from the experience – like knowing not to trust that person again, or removing them from your life completely, and walk away a better person for it.
Our brains are not geared to process negative thoughts. When then are introduced into our lives our brain rejects them, or it wrecks havoc within the brain. It releases chemicals that cause damage to your neuroconnectors, and causes bodily ailments and inflammation – which leads to other problems. For this reason, it is important that you learn how to channel your anger into something more positive and productive, and learn that forgiveness is for your own good, not giving in to the person who hurt you.
Consider how forgiveness can lead you down the path of physical, emotional and spiritual well-being. If you allow anger to build up it will hold you in a vice grip, and you become the prisoner. The person who hurt you wins. If you release that grip you will find a new understanding that could leave to compassion and empathy.
What if you are the one who needs forgiveness? In that case, own up to your role and take responsibility for your actions. Don’t judge yourself, however, and don’t spend your life feeling guilty. We are all human, and we all make mistakes. If you are truly sorry, ask for forgiveness from the person you wronged, without making excuses. You may not force them to forgive you, but you have to forgive yourself and move on. In time, they may learn to do the same. The only thing you can do is to not do the same thing again.
According to a number of researchers, forgiveness is vital to overcoming depression. Depression signifies that you are closing down yourself to life. It’s a deep, dark hole and nobody wants to live there. The way to allow growth is to forgive. It will open up your brain to all sorts of thinks, and in turn improve your brain functions – like memory.
If you want to improve your memory it turns out you might need to forgive. Depression will hurt your memory
About the author:
Ron White is a two-time U.S.A. Memory Champion and memory training expert. As a memory keynote speaker he travels the world to speak before large groups or small company seminars, demonstrating his memory skills and teaching others how to improve their memory, and how important a good memory is in all phases of your life.Â
Sources:
Beliefnet.com: http://www.beliefnet.com/Health/Emotional-Health/Depression/What-Does-Forgiveness-Have-to-Do-With-Depression.aspx?p=2#ixzz1oUMhuPy7
PubMed Health.com – Major depression: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001941/
Mayo Clinic – Forgiveness: Letting go of grudges and bitterness: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/forgiveness/MH00131