A good listener is not born with this skill, they learn it and it takes time. You will be amazed at the areas that open up to you when you only take the time to actually process the information others are giving you, and respond accordingly.
Psychologists, therapists, communication experts and memory experts are constantly telling you that being a good listener will improve your memory, and your life, in all aspects – and they are absolutely right!
It is amazing what you learn, and how much better you memory is, because you have actually made a concerted effort to understand what you hear â€“ no matter where it comes from. We are hit with all types of media that takes our attention away from comprehension, and what he take in through our sense of hearing actually never gets past the short-term memory because we didnâ€™t take the time to try to understand it. We often tune out sounds and voices because we have pre-ordained ideas that what they have to say is invaluable. I bet if you ask you wife she wonâ€™t agree!
Good listening skills are important to sustain our marriage, our professional life and clients, and all other relationships. Advisors will tell you some valuable tips to make you a better listener include: look people in the eye; repeat what they say; ask questions; and donâ€™t interrupt others while they are speaking. These are great tips that focus on the technical aspects of listening, but they donâ€™t get to your soul and instill in us the desire to listen.
Here are some tips to help you become a more effective listener.
Â§Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Use your own words and paraphrase the message the speaker is trying to convey. Do not repeat verbatim, it sounds condescending.
Â§Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Use the reasons for the interaction, and your understanding of the facts, to respond to the speaker. Try to understand what they are feeling, what they want to accomplish, and what they want you do.
Â§Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Let them talk before jumping in. Stop your impulse to interrupt and let them finish their thoughts.
Â§Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Look for the feelings behind the words. Use your instincts to try to discern how they are feeling before you respond, and then do so with tact.
Â§Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â If you donâ€™t understand, ask them to clarify it. It shows you are actively listening.
Â§Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Use eye contact and watch body language. Donâ€™t look at your watch or appear to be in a hurry or distracted. Lean toward the speaker and nod your head when appropriate. Donâ€™t cross your arms and show critical intent.
Â§Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Donâ€™t criticize â€“ empathize. Show the person you understand how they feel, and are there for them to let off steam. You donâ€™t have to â€˜fixâ€™ the problem, but listen.
These skills are not overnight successes. You will need to practice your listening skills and have to really want to become a better listener.Â If you listen, you will be amazed at what you learn!
“7 Keys to Listening That Will Win You Friends, Improve Your Marriage, Boost Your Profits, And Make People Want To Follow You Anywhere!”: http://www.stresscure.com/relation/7keys.html
Larry Alan Nadig – Tips on Effective Listening: http://www.drnadig.com/listening.htm