I have always been a big fan of the U.S. Navy SEALs and was very proud to have my friend, T.C. Cummings help me when I was training for the U.S. Memory Championships. I am equally excited that he is working alongside me with our seminars in the â€œMind of a U.S. Navy SEALâ€ series. T.C. is an 8-year veteran of the SEALS, and a decorated soldier in both Desert Storm and Desert Shield.Â I myself have served in the U.S. Navy Reserve, and spent a tour in Afghanistan. From our experiences, and especially the training T.C. received as a SEAL, we came back home to a renewed sense of purpose and confidence in our abilities, and would like to help you renew yours as well.
Do you know the difference between constructive and destructive pain? Constructive pain is the engagement in the process of growing, it may be uncomfortable and downright hurtful, but you can turn the situation around to bring a positive spin to the experience. Example: We undergo puppy love as adolescents, and even though the breakup is painful and real it is actually a part of the growing up process. It allows us to sort out our feelings and be more careful in how we give our hearts in the future. That is constructive pain.
Destructive pain, on the other hand, is the pain you cause yourself because you are not confident enough to act upon your emotions or beliefs. The lack of initiation and confidence causes depression and sadness that is self-inflicted. Example: You see the woman of your dreams across a crowded room and, because you donâ€™t think she will give you the time of day, lose out on the opportunity to know if she really would have been the right one.
In the same vein, on the opposite side of adversity is benefit. Adversity can be painful, but with any pain there is an opportunity to reap benefits, ergo constructive pain.Â Example: A young teen breaks his leg in a car accident. His friends and family fawn over his and everyone wants to sign his cast, even the girl he has a crush on.
The greater the adversity, the greater the opportunity you can find to turn things around to a positive. Take the young man with the broken leg for instance. When his crush signs his cast he draws up the confidence to speak to her and he finds out they have a lot in common, so he asks her out.
Develop the confidence you want to bring to the world. Our desired results are right here and right now. Why bother to exist if you are not involved in the life around you?
Muscle growth is in direct proportion to muscle irritation (muscle being a metaphor for your confidence). How does this fit in to Pain that doesnâ€™t kill me makes me stronger?Â Would you go to a health club and just sit in the juice bar, not taking advantage of the equipment? In order to grow the muscles that would attract members of the opposite sex you are going to have to undergo a little pain, in the form of exercise. Just like your muscles, confidence is a muscle.
As we grow in confidence we project that confidence â€“ in the way we hold ourselves, the way we walk, the way we speak, and the atmosphere around us. Confidence is very empowering, and it attracts positive energy. It is the law of cause and effect. When we are hurt, we can get up and fight back, which builds more confidence, or we can lie there and feel sorry for ourselves. If we have a positive attitude, positive things will happen. If we have a negative attitude, negative things will continue to happen. Itâ€™s all a matter of mindset.
Pain can also come in the form of fear. Know your fears and face them. By looking at what scares you straight in the face you are not giving the fear any power. Keep facing them until you are comfortable that, although you may still have some trepidation, you are not going to let the fear be more powerful than you are. By attacking the fear with the confidence that you are in charge you have already conquered it.
If you have any doubts, or have a history of procrastination, you must face your fears, acknowledge that there will be some pain involved to overcome them, but by meeting them head on you will conquer that fear and build up your confidence. So, the next time you come in contact with it you can laugh at it and move on.
Confidence is like an aphrodisiac, it attracts others to you and you want to have more of it.
You will find the lesson in conquering your pain and fear in order to build confidence among many available on the training CDs â€œMind of a Navy SEAL,â€ and in our training â€œThink Like A U.S. Navy SEALâ€ workshops.
â€œMind of a U.S. Navy SEALâ€ workshop